he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize