You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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