Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
