Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
