every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
