In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
