i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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