I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
be right there i have to get my cape
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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