The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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