capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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