How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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