I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
