come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I need moral support for this bender
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
