It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize