so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
