ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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