My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
