so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
my being single is dangerous.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
