It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
