she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
