Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
