i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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