You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
