Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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