why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
