Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and she was petting her beer can
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
