Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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