ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
