if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
