drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is an emotional support booty call
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
