How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
