WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
