i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
