This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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