I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
