i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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