he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize