It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
