# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
