i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
