She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
