Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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