Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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