Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
