Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
