why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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