it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so let's talk penis.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
