you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
