Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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