Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
