i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
