why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
