That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
