if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know her cup size but not her name....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
