K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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