It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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