My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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