so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i will never coherently bang her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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