God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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