I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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