no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
