Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize