Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
