I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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